Give me cha cha heels

The legendary Eartha Kitt singing with Bronski Beat, “Cha Cha Heels”, 1989. As only Eartha could do it.

Big-haired Latin girls

Miami Sound Machine, featuring Gloria Estefan singing “Conga”, 1985. Check out the big-haired girls at the concert, along with the oh-so-hideous 80s turquoise and mauve color scheme on the stage.

We also heard through the grapevine that Gloria Estefan is scheduled to portray Connie Francis in a bio film soon.

You’re twisted, sister

Twisted Sister singing “I Want to Rock”, 1985. I’m happy I had an education instead of becoming a twisted sister. Singer Dee Snider could use a makeover. Perhaps Mimi from the Drew Carey show could help him.

I am a man / I need a man

Amanda Lear in 1986 singing “I Need a Man”. Some say she once was a man. Some believe she is a natural-born woman. In any event, 1986 is too late to be playing disco diva, and she does look suspiciously like Loni Anderson with breast reduction.

Your toenails are so grody

Since I actually live in the Valley, and am headed to Ventura Boulevard in a few minutes I thought it fitting to celebrate Moon Unit Zappa singing “Valley Girl”, in 1982, on Solid Gold. This song spawned Valley Girl imitators from Tarzana to Tuckahoe.

Why can’t you be like Endicott?

Endicott’s such a gentleman. We love the hyper-saturated color, cartoon quality of “Endicott” from Kid Creole and the Coconuts, 1983. Happy music, and we can all stand a little more happiness. Sing along now…Endicott.

Where are the rulers of the world?

“Everybody Wants to Rule the World”, by Tears for Fears, 1984. If this is true, why do we end up with crappy leaders like George W Bush, John McCain, and Barack Obama? Wouldn’t you think there would be better choices? Is is that everybody wants to rule the world, but they’re too lazy to work to make it happen? Or is it that no one wants to put their past actions and words under the ridiculous scrutiny of the media? What does it take to want to become ruler of the world? Is it simply a self-aggrandizing excess of ego? Can’t we have a ruler who is a visionary leader? Not in this election cycle!

a headbangin’ love song for no one like you

Hair bands. I wasn’t such a fan in the 80s. They reminded me of pot-smoking guys in concert T-shirts driving T-top Camaros. Not my crowd. However, these songs are amazing. “No One Like You” from the Scorpions, 1982. A beautiful love song masquerading as a headbangers anthem. Twenty-five years later, I love the hair bands.

Check out the easy blonde

Julie Brown, in one of her hilarious parodies, “Cause I’m a Blonde”, used in the 1988 movie Earth Girls Are Easy. I’ve always aspired to be a veterinarian because I love children, but lots of people are smarter than me, so I have this philosophy “Who cares!”. Yay, Julie.

freaky headless robots on the loose

“Rockit” by Herbie Hancock, 1983, one of the most visually creative music videos of the 1980s.